I was talking to a friend recently whose mother passed away just over two years ago. We had a conversation about grief and how it affects us in different ways. I am aware of a heaviness inside my chest that feels like it is slowly pulling my shoulders arms and torso downwards. It feels a bit like my body is sluggish. She on the other hand feels hyperactive. She feels a need to be rushing around doing things but at the same time not really sure what she should be doing or why.
We both agreed that grief is lurking around both of us at the moment for different reasons and that we must allow for it to come, as it inevitably will, when it is ready – NOT necessarily when we make time and space for it to come. Another thing we agreed upon is that we are not the kind of people to reach out to another person for support when we are feeling low.
This can be a problem for us and many other people who are the same. Really we NEED people around us (some of the time) to try and lift us out of the fug. We are doing ourselves no favours by not seeking help and support from friends and family.
So we agreed that we will send each other a sad face emoji at the end of an email or sms to let each other know, without words, that we need help/contact/ a visit.
So I encourage you to have a similar conversation with your friends and family as a way of helping yourselves and your community when times are tough. All it has to be is a little sad face.